The inner voice that constantly nags us is not our friend. It tells us we are not good enough, we didn’t do the job well, we should have said such and such but didn’t, and we judge, judge, judge.
“I’m late again, they’ll think I’m a flake. Wow, look at that jacket—I need one like that—but can I afford it with the way I have been spending money lately! OMG, I’m having a bad hair day, I hope I don’t run into so and so. I know I messed up yesterday and made a fool of myself! Get it together!”
When we are about three or four years old we begin to learn who we are, how we are expected to behave, and are told if we are a good girl/boy or bad girl/boy. We start forming the Judge in our Head that did not exist before. Before that we just played, ate, cried, slept, loved life and grew. Now we are someone and we are taught what is good and what is bad. If we are bad, we are not accepted, punished, or given the silent treatment. If we are good, we are rewarded.
To keep ourselves on the “right” path, we evolved the voice in our heads. It helped us to work with others and survive as a team effort. But the downside is that it doesn’t have an obvious Off Switch. To control this constant judge, which will never allow us to be happy or at peace, there are a number of proven techniques, such as meditation. But the first step is to recognize the constant nature of this finger-wagging Judge.
“I’m late again, they’ll think I’m a flake. Wow, look at that jacket—I need one like that—but can I afford it with the way I have been spending money lately! OMG, I’m having a bad hair day, I hope I don’t run into so and so. I know I messed up yesterday and made a fool of myself! Get it together!”
When we are about three or four years old we begin to learn who we are, how we are expected to behave, and are told if we are a good girl/boy or bad girl/boy. We start forming the Judge in our Head that did not exist before. Before that we just played, ate, cried, slept, loved life and grew. Now we are someone and we are taught what is good and what is bad. If we are bad, we are not accepted, punished, or given the silent treatment. If we are good, we are rewarded.
To keep ourselves on the “right” path, we evolved the voice in our heads. It helped us to work with others and survive as a team effort. But the downside is that it doesn’t have an obvious Off Switch. To control this constant judge, which will never allow us to be happy or at peace, there are a number of proven techniques, such as meditation. But the first step is to recognize the constant nature of this finger-wagging Judge.
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