My Spiritual Coach - My spiritual blog & articles

What does the word "Buddha" mean?

3/7/2025

"Buddha" comes from the Sanskrit root "budh," which means "to know" or "to awaken." To most, Buddha means someone who is free from the sorrows and suffering of life because they see the bigger picture. This may be an unattainable state and could actually be a state of non-compassion if interpreted incorrectly. As if such a being was above it all, diminishing human suffering as something we can all rise above.

In reality, the aim of the Buddhist discipline is to manage and reduce suffering through understanding its cause and its remedies. Yet people have insisted on making idols to the man (Siddhartha Gautama), asking for favors, healings, and any other advantage they want at the time. It takes away from Buddha’s dying statement, “Be a light unto yourself.” It is off the course of his message of doing inner work, rather than depending on an outside agency to bring whatever it is that you think you need.

The way Buddha is portrayed is similar to all the great spiritual masters. It is in large, broad, strokes in which we know nothing about his day-to-day routine or quirks as a human (unless fictionalized as in Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha). We hear more of the dramatic events and milestones of his life. This leads people to think they will never be so saintly as to attain the title of “The Awakened One.” They could never sit under the bodhi tree doing inner contemplation for seven weeks in a row as did Buddha. They are full of aches, pains, gripes, bad memories, fear of death. But the unattainable Buddha surpassed all that and seekers may demean themselves about their shortcomings.

Thinking the title of “Buddha” as something to be attained as a mark of the highest spiritual realization is therefore problematic. It postpones permanent inner peace to the future, as a goal after a long journey of moral and devotional practices. The goal is to eliminate suffering and be in eternal bliss (Nirvana) knowing that all is perfect just as it is.

Everyone wants Nirvana, or endless bliss, but they are not finding it as they search through doctrines and religious methods. So they hope Buddhism will bring it to them. Hope is about the future. It is not based on knowledge. Buddha brought awakening through knowledge more than 2,500 years ago. The practice is more about uncovering the inner wisdom and understanding inherent in us all than it is about achieving the illustrious title of “Buddha.”

Do enlightened individuals have a sense of purpose to help humanity become more aware of their spiritual nature and evolution?

3/2/2025

Humanity has a huge uncovered resource of spiritual understanding. The enlightened beings who have achieved world-wide recognition, such as Buddha and Jesus Christ, have brought forward this potential through their communication and presence.

Buddha’s chosen purpose was to find a path to relieve suffering. He focussed on the acute mental anguish that is part of the human condition. He saw that so much suffering is due to our hard-wired fear-based mental patterns and emotional upset over loss, change, death, and physical pain. He saw so much suffering around him and he, himself was so uncomfortable with day-to-day reality, he sought a way to deal with it all. When he found it, he communicated it though his Four Noble Truths and Noble Eightfold Path. His purpose was to alleviate suffering and that is also the purpose of Buddhism.

Jesus Christ was also about alleviating suffering, superficially his emphasis looked like it was on physical healing, raising the dead, and other miracles. The masses came to him because they were sick, their loved ones were dying, they themselves were afraid of death, and they were also afraid of possession by demons. Because he could heal them, that became his fame, but he was really here to teach love, forgiveness, mercy, kindness, and integrity, as he communicated in the Sermon on the Mount.

Both of these enlightened beings were driven by the enlightenment process itself, to communicate it. They were willing to pay the price for sharing their revelations. Buddha gave up a life of pampered luxury and Jesus Christ was crucified. Yet they had to set things straight with people who were going on all kinds of paths that were off base when it came to the revelations of divine consciousness.

Buddha told people they didn’t need to do drastic painful penances, live like ascetics, or punish themselves. These people thought they could earn enlightenment through extreme practices. Jesus Christ told the hyper-religious hypocrites that their’s wasn’t the path either. Buddha and Jesus were spiritual coaches. But not everyone wants a spiritual coach or someone who can show them a path to the harmonious laws of the universe.

Therefore, though there are many people who have grasped the deepest aspects of spiritual consciousness, only a few have been recognized globally. Some people live quietly enlightened lives and do not feel compelled to teach or tell anyone about it. Others say they are enlightened, gain huge followings, and show that they are power-hungry—such as John of God, capitalizing on human suffering.

In general, enlightened beings don’t feel or need a purpose. They put aside the anxious human mind and see that all is well just the way it is, as long as we keep an open path to divine energy. They communicate this because they are driven by the higher consciousness that took them over to do so. Their individual needs are set aside. As Jesus Christ said, “I can of mine own self do nothing: because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.”

It is why I am writing this now. Since I was four years old my obsession has been awareness of higher consciousness. Every human live human being has the potential to discover this and it came to me at a very young age. The expectations of my family were that I would be arm candy for a wealthy man. If I fulfilled that, then I fulfilled my purpose to them. They were dismayed that I began a lifelong devotion to cosmic consciousness, beyond the day-to-day. I sent away for spiritual classics: Predominantly zen, Hindu, Sufi, and Christian mystics starting at 12 years old.

Never did I think I was here to set people right about their suffering or their mistaken, primitive tribal religious ritualisms. But people started coming to me in boarding school when I was 11 for spiritual counseling and to find their inner light. In that sense, an enlightened being is here for everyone but not everyone wants an enlightened being. Therefore, I am not here to help people just because it’s nice to help. Yet I am compelled to alleviate the suffering of those who come to me and are willing to work it out, just like a coach.

How can you communicate to your parents about your spiritual awakening without coming across as crazy or disrespectful towards them?

12/29/2024

For a long time, my mother thought I had gone off the deep end when I revealed my spiritual intentions to her. Most of the people in my family thought I had gone insane when I dropped out of society to explicitly explore the spiritual practices that made sense to me. I really didn’t care what the rest of my family thought because spirituality didn’t interest them. But my mother was very dear to me, deeply though dogmatically seeking God, and I loved her profoundly from the level of Soul.

The problem was, my spiritual communication with her was one-way. She wanted to preach to me about her belief system (Christian Science) and didn’t want to hear about or acknowledge my spiritual discoveries in Buddhism and other Eastern traditions. This was all right when I was a child. But when I got into my 30’s I didn’t see the point in this level of communication between us. We needed a new level of respect in which she’d listen to my viewpoint and not discount it.

If we were going to have a relationship, it had to go beyond my agreeing with everything she said just to appease her and not cause problems. That wasn’t worth it for me because I knew my mother had it in her to understand where I was going spiritually. I just needed to explain it in a way that she could understand. And I knew it would add so much more freedom and joy to her life.

One day I suggested we go no-contact until she was ready to at least listen to me and not just dismiss what I held within my heart of hearts as worthless. It took a year of silence, but finally she came around and said she’d hear me out.

I carefully laid out the principles of Cosmic Consciousness that the great masters articulated from their dedicated explorations and direct experience. When it came to the Buddhist system, the light went on in her eyes and she said, “I agree with all of this!”

It was a turning point for us into a whole new way of appreciating each other and acknowledging the love between us. There was depth instead of the automatic behavior that goes along in families. She respected me and what I was willing to do to live the spiritual life according to my direct experiences. She took an interest in the the great explorers of consciousness who paved the way, such as Sri Ramana Maharshi, Krishnamurti, and Sri Aurobindo.

When she crossed over into death, I was with her all the way. She asked me to assist her in her crossing and I was touched to do so. If I had not broken down the wall with her, the relationship would not have been complete. I would have always loved her but the spiritual bonding wouldn’t be there.

Not everyone in our families are open to or ready for such discussions—but my mother was. With others, it would be like what happens to the seeds Jesus talks about in Matthew 13:

“. . .some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up: some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth: and when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away. And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them: but other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold. Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.”

What are the differences between Taoist and Buddhist philosophies? Can a lay person practice both without any contradictions?

12/14/2024

Taoist and Buddhist philosophies are the same in one major aspect: Neither of them mentions a patriarchal God that punishes people according to how obedient they are to God’s commands. There are other similarities as well, such as non-violent, peaceful living.

Buddhism concerns itself more with human suffering than does Taoism. Buddha discovered that all all life is suffering. And this suffering is the result of wanting thing to be the way they didn’t turn out to be according to our desires. He tells us how to alleviate our suffering and that of others by following the Noble 8-Fold Path.

Taoism is more about the cosmic forces underlying everything that exists. It is the Eternal Way. It could be called God if you wanted to but it is not the old man in the sky doling out punishment and gifts because we performed certain rituals. It is an energy field in which all else has its being. Tapping into this field allows us to live a life of inner peace, no matter what is going on around us.

Both of these systems are excellent for the lay person who wants answers to who we really are, apart from the disappearing body. They require practices of a different kind than the explicitly religious ceremonies. The practices are about mindfulness and appreciation of what is, rather than wanting things to be different. The last thing Buddha said to his disciples when he crossed over was, “Be a light unto yourselves.”

Neither Taoism or Buddhism require the lay person to do penances to God. Instead they both encourage observation of how beautifully nature flows and how destructive the untrained human mind can be to happiness and well-being. But you have to discover it for yourself.

What factors contribute to people becoming more "spiritual" as they age? Is it a result of maturity or other influences?

12/2/2024

On one level, age has nothing to do with spirituality. I have met very evolved spiritual beings who were young children. My understanding is that we are all born with an inherent spiritual sense and cosmic consciousness. Then life experiences and the development of our ego minds cause us to cover over this light like a lightbulb covered with masking tape.

We lose our way to the Soul within and think we must survive at all costs as time goes by. People hurt us, we are in unavoidably painful situations. This causes many to form protective callouses that surround our inner light. If these callouses grow too thick, age only forms a greater barrier to spiritual understanding as we pile them on through the years. Then we are amazed that a person has lived so long and is nothing but an old grouchy, self-righteous, bitter, and regretful person who envies the young and puts them down for their ideas while they are still growing.

But if we maintain our connection to the inner light that is a reflection of the Source of All, then age is definitely a plus. Older people have a chance to experience more and see how it all turns out. We see that things we worried about never happened. We know we are capable of handling whatever comes up. We see life as a huge adventure, with moments of joy, moments of pain and that they alll pass. We are emotionally mature and don’t have tantrums because the world doesn’t bend to our wishes.

We have enough experience to see that things clear up over time. Or we accept them. Or we walk away from them. It’s not a big emotional rollercoaster and drama production. We know that we don’t have that much time left in the body so striving to fix things that are beyond our control or trying to create a spectacular life that fulfills our fantasies is really pointless. We can relax and let life unfold and take delight in all the manifestations of physical reality.

Society, as usual, has it backwards. Being older is the best time of life—as long as we are fit and maintain contact with our inner light, or Soul. Otherwise, we are a mass of aches and pains, stiffness, insomnia, poor digestion, facing some horrible form of death. If we don’t know we are more than the body—that we have a body but are Eternal Soul watching the show—then age is no advantage at all. Thus the time-worn expression, “There’s no fool like an old fool.”

Would you rely on science or spirituality to control important elements of the universe and life?

10/12/2024

The Universe controls us. Very little is actually under our control. Our circulatory system, our beating heart, our digestion, almost anything inside us is beyond our control. If I asked my pancreas to stop secreting pancreatin right now, what would be the result? It is beyond my control.

The only thing inside us that we can control is our thinking (sometimes our breathing to a certain extent). And even our thinking runs wild most of the time. What we can do is rely on spirituality to give us techniques and methods to manage our thoughts and feelings.

If we have no control over most of what goes on inside our body, do we presume to be able to control the fundamental laws of the universe outside of us? They are just as ungovernable as our gall bladders. In truth, Universal laws control us. It’s not, and never will be, the other way around.

Science can provide answers to question about how physical laws, such as thermodynamics and gravity work. It can provide psychology, which discovers how the mind works. But when it comes to the Soul, only spirituality gives us access. And spirituality is not about fighting or controlling the way things are. It is peacefully accepting that we are in the hands of forces much greater than our minds. We go with it in awe and wonder and don’t try to control it.

How does the concept of "no-self" in Buddhist philosophy reconcile with the Western psychological emphasis on developing a strong sense of self?

10/7/2024

In Western psychology we are busy building up a special person that we represent to ourselves and to the world. This person has needs, wants, and desires—especially to survive. It is restless or dissatisfied with how things are and is always looking for ways to improve, get better, do more, be more, and make a mark in history, or at least in our families or our work. This person, or sense of self, notices what’s wrong and does things to fix them. Only to find that the solution becomes a new problem.

In Buddhism, we are all individual reflections of the Self of the Universe, like many leaves on the same tree. This Self is the source energy from which all visible and invisible things emerge and then return to. It is perfect, whole, and complete and does not need to be fixed. It does not need to survive because it is all there is and all that ever will be. It does not have to prove anything to gain recognition, acknowledgment, or adulation. It is not the voice in the head that is constantly judging.

We can call the human sense of self, the “little me.” The Universal Self is the “big me.” The little me can also be called the “ego.” It needs to be special. Fear is a big motivator with the little me. It lives in an anxiety of churning thoughts and defensive behaviors. “Look at me, aren’t I fabulous because I can do all this stuff?” Or, “I’m a mess trying to hold it all together, I hope no one else notices. I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have done that.” It doesn’t bring peace and it leads to suffering. So, developing a strong sense of it is not a solution to unhappiness.

Once, when the Dalai Lama was at a gathering, someone asked him what Buddhists thought of the human ego. He asked what it was because he didn’t even know what it was. And after they described something similar to what I wrote above, he said something along the lines of, “We don’t such a thing.” But at first he didn’t even know what it was.

Once he understood what ego, or the little me is, the Dalai Lama said that the ego is the enemy of compassion and that the purpose of practicing the Buddha's teachings is to eliminate ego. He has also said “The greater the ego, the more vulnerable a person is.” In other words, developing a strong sense of self opens us to more suffering.

He also said:

“A person grows stronger as the ego becomes more transparent".
"Selfishness is short-sighted and narrow-minded. The more you dedicate yourself to others, the happier you'll be."
"There is nothing inherently wrong with pursuing one's own interests but being excessively self-focused can make your instinct for self-interest negative."
"A narrow perspective (on the little me) can lead to frustration and seem unbearable".
“Beings who know they aren't special don't suffer. They don't suffer because there is no ego to defend.”

The Western concept of the separate little self doesn’t work and is one of the root causes of all the interpersonal strife in this world. It is a sign of weakness because it is not aligned with the Source of All that Is. In All that Is, everything is special and nothing is special, especially the little me that thinks it exists apart from the powerful forces of the Universe. It disappears anyway at the end so it looks futile to keep strengthening it.

Therefore, the Western sense of self does not reconcile with the Buddhist understanding of the Eternal Self, or Soul, of the universe. In Buddhism, it’s wonderful to express every talent we have and keep growing in our skills. But ultimately, if it is not for the glory of the One, higher Self, it will be destructive and lead to misery. Not just for the individual, but everyone on the planet, as we can clearly see in the daily news.

Can two people be spiritually connected before meeting in person? Are there any examples of this?

9/29/2024

The Spirit or Soul is eternal. That is why we can be connected with someone who is important in our physical life long before we actually meet them. That connection is a Soul Mate connection and is not bound by time. We have been together in many physical lives as well as when we did not assume the shape of a body. We have been together forever and we take on a separate body temporarily to work out our own Soul’s expression.

Soul Mates are not always peace and love relationships. Sometimes they exist for reasons of our natural growth and expansion (in the expanding universe) and can actually be difficult or painful. But they are necessary for our Soul’s innate joy in learning and growing. We might have concepts in our heads about what Soul Mates are. Maybe we will resist the person who shows up again after we have already met them. When we meet them may not be what our imagination wants to envision.

I have had numerous incidents in this life of people showing up after I have dreamed about them. Other times it is the feeling of deja vu. You know you have known this person before, even though you just met. You feel familiar and they even look familiar. You even said the same things as before to each other. This is one portal into the ways of the Spirit. They are uncanny and it is best for us to not try and figure them out, for they are miraculous.

Dreams are one channel through which my Soul Mates have prefigured themselves before I met them. I had dreamed of a very important person in my life, long before I met him. I saw him in detail in many dreams. Then one day, I was in a crowded tram in Pittsburgh, I saw him walking out of Kauffman’s department store. The next day, he was sitting in my college dormitory. This was an all-girls school, so for him to be there was unusual.

A few weeks later, I randomly attended a gathering at Carnegie Mellon University, and he was there, walked up and introduced himself to me. And we completed the connection, which was life-changing for both of us.

Meeting the Soul in one body and then many years later meeting that Soul again can happen too. This occurred enough for me to take notice of the pattern, with the people even having the same names. An example: My best friends through different times of life were named Andrea.

Dear friends when I was a child showed up later as doppelgangers but with completely different backgrounds. Yet they expressed that same quality of Soul that I recognized from before. They looked like identical versions of themselves but were older.

People that fascinated me for no apparent reason, showed up later in my life to have significant impact on my growth and spiritual understanding. I never understood why, when I was 12 years old I was intrigued by a humble little man who did menial work for my father. When he’d come up the path to “borrow” money from my dad I stared and stared. Why would a child of that age be so absorbed with this insignificant-looking man that had nothing to do with her? Because later in life, Spirit arranged that we would meet again. He became on of my most cherished teachers and looked like his twin!

The quantity of these experiences brought further awe and wonder at the ways of the Spirit. They confirmed my understanding of unseen forces that do not conform to our ideas of how the world works. Many people would say what I have related is delusional or some kind of whacky chemical or neuronal/electrical reaction going on in my brain. But no. This happened too many times for it to be just a self-generated fluke. This is has been my recurrent experience and I am deeply grateful to be open to it.

Can a person with a low IQ still achieve spiritual development and enlightenment? If so, what are some ways in which they can achieve this?

9/16/2024

Intellect and cognitive development have nothing to do with the enlightened state. Thinking that we are highly evolved intellectuals can actually be an impediment to spiritual understanding. We think we are so smart and have all the answers, or at least educate ourselves to be cerebral and worthy of self-esteem and the admiration of others. But the intellect comes from the brain. Enlightenment comes from the heart and gut.

A low IQ person may have a highly-developed heart center. This may come from a state of grace. They may be gifted in the inclinations of the heart, which is the center of love, peace, and trust in the Universe. Heart-centered people do not have to go through exercises, practices, and meditations to achieve spiritual development. They are already there. It is just a matter of discovering it and letting it flow. They don’t offer as much resistance to the inspiration of Divine Intelligence. They don’t examine it. They go with it.

I once had a trainer in the gym who had Down Syndrome. He used his intuition and spiritual perception to design the perfect exercises for me. He was also an athlete in the Special Olympics. He was in peak condition and inspired me to new heights and fun in working out. It was never a struggle with him. Even though it was about physical achievement, it was also a current that passed from his heart to mine, making a lasting impression. I still use his techniques. The total experience stays with me to this day.

Low IQ doesn’t mean that a person doesn’t have natural intelligence that comes from channeling the underlying intelligence of at the core of all creation.
Not standing in the way of the abundant flow of the Source Energy of the Universe is a more effective way to receive enlightenment that packing our brains with book-learning and cleverness of thought, meditating for hours in uncomfortable positions, or any other activity that people do in search of enlightenment.

I am not diminishing the wonders of the developed mind and its manifestations. But if we look around us, we will see that our high IQs have not led to happiness or to the health of the planet. So let’s not put too much stock in intellectual development as a path to enlightenment.

Is it possible to return to a "normal" life after having a spiritual awakening, or does it permanently change your life?

9/15/2024

After my spiritual awakening dawned on me, I dropped out of society. All the things people strove for to “make it,” to find relief from the constant turmoil of the human ego-mind, were meaningless to me. I didn’t want what other people wanted. I wanted the “Peace of God that passeth understanding.” And I wanted to explore the spaciousness of the background instead of being focussed solely on the foreground.

I owned nothing for 5 years, including the clothes I wore, which I borrowed. The only money I had was from odd jobs for the moment. Most of the food I ate, I grew. I devoted myself to living in the light of the Divine Consciousness of the Universe. I studied the great spiritual masters and lived in inspiration. That isn’t to say I didn’t experience physical difficulties but I felt courageous and free.

Yet certain necessities of survival and family matters propelled me back into the “normal” life. Circumstances made having a regular income a must at that time. Though dropping out was appropriate for me before, now it was appropriate for me to bring the context of enlightenment into the regular workaday world. It brings to mind the old Zen Buddhist saying, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”

The meaning of the quote is that:

Enlightenment does not change your life. Life will still go on being life, with pain, sorrow, loss, suffering, with happiness and good times too. You just view it in a different context and don’t take it personally. You are not its puppet. You are the observer.
Enlightenment is not about fireworks and wild ecstasy. It is simple and has to do with performing simple things mindfully. You are living in the now and not doing everything because you think the future will bring you salvation from your present unease. You are not putting yourself on display as a paragon of anything.
Before enlightenment, you still needed to chop wood for the fire. Now most of us don’t chop wood on a daily basis, but when this proverb came out, that is what we did if we wanted a fire. The fire didn’t appear magically when we wanted it. It’s the spirit in which we do any task that is the underlying hallmark of enlightenment. Also, even if we don’t go down to the river now to fetch a bucket of water, our bodies would perish if we didn’t get the water for ourselves from the faucet or the grocery store.

No, I never returned to “normal” after enlightenment swept me away. Yet I still look and behave life a normal person. I am by no means a perfect saint. I laugh at my weaknesses and laugh at my strengths as well. And I don’t take credit for any of it. I am grateful for the gift!