My Spiritual Coach - My spiritual blog & articles

Is it possible to dissolve the ego completely? If it is possible, how can this benefit somebody’s life?

6/9/2021

The Universe is perfectly designed, so if we are born into bodies that come equipped with egos, who are we to say it needs to be completely dissolved? We can manage it because it has some troublesome aspects. It is fearful, tries to prove itself right and everyone else wrong, and it is never satisfied with what is, wanting more, more, and more.

But it is also part of what makes us human. And as with our bodies, we can do things with it to optimize its performance and not turn it into our enemy. We can put it in its place. We can be grateful to it that it is only trying to protect us to ensure our survival. We don’t have to fight it. We can thank it and then put it in its place as our servant and not our master.

The ego wants to excel, improve on things, fix things, and gain praise. It sees what’s wrong with the picture and is discontent with the Now. All of these qualities spurred the great works of art, engineering, technology, and inventions of our species. So we don’t want to throw the ego out completely. We want to put it where it belongs—being a help to us in our creative energy and not destroying our happiness in the process.

What were Eckhart Tolle's fears and anxieties of his life situation before Enlightenment?

6/9/2021

Eckart Tolle’s fears and anxieties, that he reports on in his books, were very much like all of our fears and anxieties: We’re not enough. We need to do something to make ourselves enough but we never do enough, we’re not good-looking enough, we’re not smart enough, we will be on the street with nothing, we’re not loved or appreciated enough, we’re not (fill in the blank).

Those are just a few fears that plagued him, along with an unhappy childhood with quarreling parents, not fitting in at school, and just the low-level non-stop terror that the mind inflicts on everyone who doesn’t know how it operates.

When he discovered how the ego-mind and its negative bias runs our lives instead of us running it, he was able to get out from under its tyranny and start to control and master it. Now he could use it as a tool, instead of letting it using him as its tool. This brought him freedom from the never-ending emphasis on lack that is the focus of the ego-mind, which always wants more, more, more and is never satisfied with what is.

The books by Eckhart Tolle were very popular because they had the answer that if you are totally in the present (now), you are totally happy. But are people now disappointed because he had no way to get there, since he got there by accident?

6/9/2021

It’s delusional to think that anyone can be totally happy all the time by following a simple formula. It is a popular concept, of course, that if you are always in the present you have found the way to total happiness. It is a great selling point with people who are looking for instant enlightenment and a life of endless fun without the discipline, watchfulness, and work it takes to get there.

Such ideas can also make a reader feel that if it is so easy, why doesn’t it work for them? They must be deficient in some way. They then add that to the list of negatives that keep them stuck in a depressive world view.

I don’t interpret Eckart Tolle’s present moment awareness as being totally happy, anyway. I interpret it as being at peace with the underlying understanding that all lis right with the Universe, regardless of what my emotional reaction is to the circumstances. Sometimes being totally happy is not appropriate and shows a shallowness and lack of sensitivity that borders on the fake and annoying. Sometimes, being truly sad and feeling it deeply, is the appropriate emotion and shows compassion and empathy for other sufferers.

As F. Scott Peck says in the first line of The Road Not Taken, “Life is difficult.” Because people don’t want to face that, they are outraged, angry, disappointed, upset, unhappy, feel entitled to their piece of the pie, and every other negative emotion. If we accept that life is difficult and that it requires spiritual work and discipline to achieve inner peace, lots of our problems would clear up naturally.

With Eckart Tolle, it wasn’t really an accident that brought his breakthrough into the world of spiritual peace. It was that his mind broke. He had taken the ego-mind to the limit and saw the absurdity of its claims on him. He saw that he wasn’t two beings, his nagging ego-mind and his eternal, harmonious soul. It wasn’t an accident at all. It was the result seeing clearly, for the first time, that if he went with the repetitive, automatic, and negative path of this mind, his life would continue to be hell.

Many mystics have arrived at this realization the same way. Often it is the result of The Dark Night of the Soul. But it is never an accident. Part of it is by grace as well. But it is never because someone read a book and got “instant karma” as a result. It always takes some form of work.

Why are a lot of enlightenment answers unintelligible and why do people upvote them anyway?

5/23/2021

Answers about consciousness and enlightenment seem meaningless to people who think that they are only their ego-minds, with their never-ending demands for everything to make sense. They also think they are their bodies, with their endless round of physical needs and cravings.

They want to tie all the mysteries of life up in a neat package that can be proved under laboratory conditions, and therefore that would be the Truth for them. This would give them a sense of security, though any thinking person can see that life merely in the physical is an endless cycle of eating, sleeping, procreating, and working so we can get up then next day and do the same thing again until we die.

Then we will be replaced by other organisms, all with their same wants and desires—mainly to survive with a few little meaningless perks thrown in, such as entertainment and fleeting pleasures.

Yet some people are beyond this. They know within their hearts that this survival-at- all-costs approach to life shows meaninglessness on the level of the insects. Reproducing in swarms and filling their bellies so they can excrete later. Only if we are on a path of enlightenment, to bypass the endless whirl of the physical and its dis-satisfactions, will any underlying happiness, gratitude, or sense of purpose be possible.

The other problem with the language of enlightenment is that we don’t really have a precise vocabulary to define the different states of consciousness attained by an enlightened being. These states are beyond mere feelings and emotions. Eventually their descriptions end up sounds like cliches. “I was lost in the bliss of One-ness with all life and all death. We are all one.”

People don’t feel this in everyday life and it becomes tiresome to hear this kind of imprecise language over and over again. It becomes lost in a blur. The states of consciousness that go beyond the mere everyday survival thoughts, rehashing of old events and jumping with anxiety into the future, don’t sound possible the way they are described.

Yet, when we are on the Spiritual Path we can detect the soul behind what is written and therefore respond to the being who put themselves out there enough to at least try to describe enlightenment.

Do all enlightened beings renounce their worldly possessions?

4/29/2021

It’s not that enlightened beings renounce their worldly possession, it’s just that they don’t cling to them. They understand the everlastingness of their spiritual identity and therefore do not place a significant value on things that can be stolen, lost, or destroyed.

Enlightened beings may enjoy beautiful objects but they do not place high emotional value on them either. They don’t even have to own them to enjoy them. They can appreciate objects and experiences for what they are: Transitory and ephemeral, not lasting and eternal. Like a gorgeous butterfly that settles nearby and then flies away. The enlightened being does not need to place a pin in the butterfly and frame it to keep it for all time.

Enlightened beings do not put great importance on anything that comes and goes, or can disappear or be taken away. They focus their attention and energy on what is lasting and deep. Therefore, enlightened beings may even be extraordinarily wealthy, but they would be just as happy if they had nothing. With enlightened beings, it is never about the external manifestations of reality and more about the internal discoveries.

We don’t need to make a big fanfare of giving up everything that makes life comfortable to show that we are enlightened. We can just hold what is really valuable and enduring in our hearts and souls. Then we can be thankful for whatever good comes our way but not depend on physical items for our happiness and peace of mind.

Why are we motivated by materialism?

3/25/2021

Buying and amassing a whole bunch of material goods for ourselves gives us a temporary high. It feels good for a short while and then we need to feed the beast once again. The high has disappeared and we must up the dose of our next toy, piece of jewelry, car, house, or anything that we value outside of our inner selves.

We keep looking outside ourselves for one more item that might be the that panacea for all our discontents and anxieties. Then we get it and find it didn’t do the trick, so we are motivated to try the next path in the maze. Each time we think we will find the reward with the next acquisition.

Jackie Gleason, the famous comedian and billiards player told the story about how poor he was growing up. All he ever wanted was a billiards table of his own. He knew that would be the key to happiness for him. That would solve his restless angst. He was putting off his happiness until that moment and knew one day it would happen.

Through the years he became wealthy and famous. He finally bought himself a top-of-the-line pool table. But after only a few days, it was just one more thing in his house gathering dust. Yes, he used it, but now he was used to it. His mind had moved on to the next thing it felt it needed to hold onto for its joy and peace of mind.

That was one of the most important realizations of his life. We are motivated to keep getting more and more materials things because the satisfaction is not lasting. So we keep going down that false path because we think that one day if we get enough of the right thing, all will be solved.

What is a possible criticism to Eckhart Tolle thoughts?

3/5/2021

I admire Eckhart Tolle and his conclusions about why humans can find only brief moments of happiness with ego-minds dominated by fear. Perhaps my one hesitation relates to savoring the rich memories of past joys as well as learning from past mistakes.

I agree with Tolle, that the past is gone, the future doesn’t exist, and all we have is now. But I want to cherish beautiful memories as a way of managing my thoughts. For example, if I am going through a painful time, it is useful for me to reflect back on a moment of beauty, such as a peaceful walk in the forest with someone I love. This enables me to steer my thoughts in a more positive and healing direction in the present moment.

Also, reflecting on, without obsessing about, some red flag behaviors and situations in our past can help us make decisions that will bring peace and joy into our lives. Therefore, the trick is to preserve these important memories without being terrorized by them every time they come up.

Daydreaming and reveries play an important role in our creative lives. Spartan insistence on paying close attention to every moment of the Now may not be a light and breezy as it seems as an ideal. For example, it is great to be mindful while we are performing routine and repetitive tasks but it can also be fun to think back on an amusing time or something funny from the past, while we are scrubbing the toilet.

Therefore, perhaps the element of exuberant fun may be lacking in Tolle because of his own painful memories that exert an unrecognized influence on his thinking. The future also can be very pleasing to think about when we remove the attendant anxiety about the unknown. So I am not ready to completely throw out the past and future as useless for complete happiness.

Is the law of attraction/manifestation simply a way for people to just believe in themselves, and therefore take action, or is it more than that?

1/25/2021

The Law of Attraction, which is “like attracts like,” makes a lot of sense when we see it in nature. Geese don’t hang out with skunks, they attract other geese. It is also about the energy that we put out there. It is invisible, but is comes back to us as we magnetically attract it.

However, I take issue with people thinking that they can sit on their sofa all day long and pet their cat and all the goodies they ever wanted in life will magically appear. My experience is that you have to meet the Universe at least half way, through action, to manifest anything you want in your life.

It is the lazy way out to think that you can lose weight, for example, by just thinking thoughts that you are thinner. You have to put in the work and the discipline. You must take some form of action. That is what sets the whole Universal ball rolling. If you just sit there and indulge in magical thinking that just because you are a good person and think nice thoughts everything good will come to you, I’m sorry, it won’t work.

Unfortunately, the Law of Attraction has been so commercialized, it has lost its original meaning. It is all about the energy forces of the Universe, which are unseen but can be harnessed by our own energy fields. It is not about brining in all the stuff money can buy and everyone lives happily ever after.

The physical plane is not easy and we a driven by the media to believe we need so many things to be happy. The Law of Attraction appeals to people who want lots of things. And therefore, it has become tarnished from misuse. We believe all these things lead to a happy, successful life. But they don’t. Inner peace, joy, love, bliss—our minds need to be all of those first things to attract them.

But we cannot be a huge SUV, a McMansion, a $1,000 pizza, and those things all go away or get digested and turn to excrement or dust. So, using the Law of Attraction for such things may be amusing, but it is not fulfilling and often doesn’t work. We are coming from an energy level of need and want, rather than fulfillment and that is the flaw. Law of attraction, without the necessary energetic work to supplement it, will not work.

Is the pursuit of enlightenment less of a thing for women?

1/25/2021

Enlightenment has been the center of my life since I was a small child. And I am a woman. At a young age, I also became aware that some religions don’t believe that women can achieve enlightenment or even be allowed into sections of an all-male heaven. I was perplexed.

Are you going to tell me that I won’t be allowed into the boys club of enlightened beings because I have been blessed with certain physical attributes or a certain distribution of hormones in my system?

Whether we have testosterone running through our veins or estrogen has nothing whatsoever to do with our Soul’s path. Those things belong to the body and determine whether we are male or female strictly for reproductive purposes.

From an enlightened point of view, we are not our bodies. They are the vehicles through which our Souls experience physical existence as part of their karmic journeys. It’s absurd to think that a male, regardless of how he behaved in this life, has a better chance of going to heaven than a female who has led a life of caring and spiritual pursuits.

One example is Digambar Jains. I am generally a big fan of Jains except on this one point. They believe that women are not capable of being enlightened. Svetambar Jains have opposite beliefs, believing that women are capable of enlightened and can become religious role models. But women, especially among Svetambar Jains, are believed to be deceitful. They believe that deceit is the foundation of their character. The reason they were reborn as a woman is because they were deceitful in a former life.

One of their sacred texts states:

“As the result of manifesting deception, a man in this world becomes a woman. As a woman, if her heart is pure, she becomes a man in this world.”

And men aren’t deceitful? That is my question. What does gender have to do with it? According to the Federal Bureau of Prisons, 93.% of the population in prisons are males and 6.7% are females. Is it not deceit to steal peoples lives through murder, theft, racketeering, con artistry, and other crimes? So please don’t tell me how holy the male population is, based on their criminal behavior.

According to a study entitled: Women in the Afterlife: The Islamic View as Seen from Quran and Tradition by Jane I. Smith and Yvonne Y. Haddad:

“The most basic relationship in Islamic society is not between a man and a woman but between a man and God: It is definitely not between woman and God.

. . .men, have, upon occasion, apparently used the assurance of their own place in eternity as a tool of control and of dominance.”
Yet other religious systems based on the Goddess, instead of a patriarchal punitive God, have deemed women as the leaders in enlightenment.

Heaven, (which I have experienced as enlightenment here on earth) is not a physical place of luxury where women take a subservient role as they wait upon men. This is fun fantasy for the male ego. This fairytale is not based on spirituality or any of my own deeply-held experiences of enlightenment. It looks like a pride-based and greedy imaginary man-made creation, based on physical dominance, very similar to life on earth.

What does it mean to find your “inner truth”, and have you found yours?

12/22/2020

So much of what we think is the truth is just received knowledge that we assimilated when we were too young to resist. We wanted to fit in when we were children. We wanted our parents to love us and to care for us. Therefore, it would not have been in our best interest to buck the system, even if we were capable of resisting.

Then we went to school. We had to learn what the teachers in our culture were teaching. It was considered to be the truth at the time, until we find out that history can be re-written according to cultural biases.

Our religious institutions also have their input into our view of truth. They frighten us with versions of hell at ages when, again, we are too young to resist and are not capable of intellectual argumentation. We are punished if we do not agree and it is much easier just to fit and and not make waves.
And so, most people never get to find their “inner truth.” To do that, we must scrub our consciousness clean of all received views and notions and find out what is so jut for ourselves. This requires going in within and learning about who we really are as Eternal Soul. It is a quiet place, away from all information input and entertainment. It is a place of peace, where you fearlessly discover what you love and what brings the most joy.

Yes, I have found inner truth for me, and it is a place of endless freedom. Most people don’t take the time to discover who they are. It’s much easier to accept outer truth. But, as we have seen through time, what we thought was true (such as the flat earth or that the earth is the center of the universe) is false. Inner truth is never false, because it is based on Soul, which can’t be incorrect.